I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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