areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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