in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
