My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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