$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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