Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
