She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
