Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
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