Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
