i think my tv is drunk
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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