Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
