So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
