singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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