i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
