I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
