Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
