me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
