well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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