i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
