i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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