that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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