The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
