I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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