and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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