you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
