She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize