Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
