The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
