I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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