this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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