hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
