Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
