I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Randomize
