My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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