Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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