No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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