You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
