My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
MIDGETS
????
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
