is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
