would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
