My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
