He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
