never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
