you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
