I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
