I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
