Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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