I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
