you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
