I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
