your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
