let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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