butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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