sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
