It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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