You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
