he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
