i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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