a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
