you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
