somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i've created a new STD.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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