and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
