I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
