So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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