I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
